My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
