Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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