Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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