well I can't set my house on fire every night
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Randomize