Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
