Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Let's paint friendship bongs
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
