Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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