help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
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Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
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I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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