Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
