the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
