we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
