I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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