hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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