I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
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And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
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It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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