you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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