Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
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They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
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You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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