Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Found the puke drawer
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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