I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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