The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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