D3 body, D1 cock
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
my liver is dry heaving
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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