now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
