Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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