Need sex. Gaining weight.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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