PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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