Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
