and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
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shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
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Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.