i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him