I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
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just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
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he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...