Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
i need to put some appletini on your dick
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
