I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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