even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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