did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
