when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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