I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
sarcasm needs its own font
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
The air taste purple.
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