Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
