At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
