if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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