Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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