Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
