The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Randomize