i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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