what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
