I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
