Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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