Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
