If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Dick very happy bro
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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