Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Randomize
