Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
