your parents love me but you hate me
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize