if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The feeling are messing with the penis
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
