We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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