why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Still dying that you shit outside
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
