Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(952): View more from Minnesota

i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...

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(952): i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight... http://tfl.nu/bbui

Replies (11) Good night (3680) Bad night (740)
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(480): View more from Arizona

A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.

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(480): A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card. http://tfl.nu/fah6

Replies (47) Good night (5256) Bad night (1131)
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(706): View more from Georgia

I GOT MY PERIOD!

(706): View more from Georgia

damn. i had names picked out.

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(706): I GOT MY PERIOD! (706): damn. i had names picked out. http://tfl.nu/tcr6

Replies (18) Good night (7364) Bad night (1161)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?

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(252): Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome? http://tfl.nu/vqed

Replies (56) Good night (2179) Bad night (9835)
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(410): View more from Maryland

this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.

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(410): this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it. http://tfl.nu/bnad

Replies (25) Good night (4459) Bad night (903)
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(916): View more from California

A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.

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(916): A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever. http://tfl.nu/cexy

Replies (65) Good night (1653) Bad night (5735)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes

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(225): it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes http://tfl.nu/e457

Replies (8) Good night (2632) Bad night (1321)
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(239): View more from Florida

I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real

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(239): I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real http://tfl.nu/tylh

Replies (5) Good night (4155) Bad night (1282)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route

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(519): Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route http://tfl.nu/dfjg

Replies (6) Good night (3252) Bad night (853)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.

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(605): Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible. http://tfl.nu/ozx2

Replies (3) Good night (1723) Bad night (682)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.

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(505): Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels. http://tfl.nu/3182

Replies (3) Good night (361) Bad night (878)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.

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(218): Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else. http://tfl.nu/z0p4

Replies (3) Good night (460) Bad night (897)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..

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(306): They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult.. http://tfl.nu/9g45

Replies (3) Good night (1065) Bad night (376)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.

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(630): Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school. http://tfl.nu/2i6j

Replies (2) Good night (546) Bad night (368)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.

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(814): I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro. http://tfl.nu/ilnn

Replies (1) Good night (708) Bad night (381)

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