your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
