I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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