dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
it's great music for shaving your balls
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
