Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
