This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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