this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize